depression doesn’t always mean beautiful girls slashing their wrists, a glorified heroic battle for your sanity, or mothers not getting to say goodbye. sometimes it means not getting out of bed for 3 days because your feet refuse to believe that they will not shatter upon impact with the floor. sometimes it means that summoning the willpower to go downstairs and do laundry is the most impressive thing you’ve accomplished that week. sometimes depression means lying on the floor staring at the ceiling for hours because you cannot convince your body that it is capable of movement. sometimes it means not being able to write for weeks because the only words you have to offer the world are trapped and drowning and “I swear to God, I tried, okay?” sometimes depression means that every single bone in your body aches but you have to keep going through the motions because you can’t call into school “depressed” sometimes it’s hiding in your closet and screaming and gasping for air and just repeating the word “why” and finding no answer. sometimes depression means ignoring the phone calls for a month because yes they have the right number, but if you answer, the very last thread inside you will snap. depression isn’t in the pamphlets or websites. it’s in the heart and the soul and the cracks in your breaking eyes.
I really need someone to listen and tell me they care and not to give up. if anyone’s listening…
|Things I'm bad at:||singing|
|Things I do a lot:||sing|